Before the Ride News

A hearty hello to all! It is a day before The Ride and all systems are go! Since my last newsletter, I have doubled the amount of donors AND doubled the amount of donations! I want to thank my Dad, Moses, Wendy, Marc, Tactile Pictures, Scott, Christina, Thy and Bryan, Albert, Otto, Susie, Rick, Nick., Alison and Chris, Femenio, and the Wallace brothers for their donations to the SF AIDS Foundation!

I am proud to announce that I have raised over $4,000!!!!!!! There are still a few pledges that haven’t been processed yet, so a final figure is not available. One of the main reasons I was hesitant to sign up for this Ride to Los Angeles was having to raise money, but everyone came through for me! On behalf of the SF AIDS Foundation, myself, and most importantly, the many people with the HIV virus that will benefit from your donations, THANK YOU!!!!!!!!

I intend to make good on my end of the deal. I will make it to Los Angeles by bike. Since this year began, I have trekked over two thousand miles on the roads and some trails in the Bay Area. The farthest I have traveled is up north to Marshall (fifteen miles north of Pt. Reyes) on Highway 1. In terms of miles, Marshall is fifty miles away from my apartment.

The only thing that I haven’t been tested on is the day after day after day effects of such exertion. Not that I am worried or anything, don’t get me wrong. There will be Pit Stops every fifteen miles or so. At the very least, I will just leave early in the mornings and break up each daily ride into many little rides by maximizing the stay at each stop. No worries.

What does worry me is one email I received earlier this week. It told of the enormous need for calories demanded by our bodies during The Ride. We will eat soooo much during the next week and we need to prepare our bodies for this massive influx of food. The email further suggested that we prepare now by increasing our caloric intake to eventually 8,000 calories by Sunday! I laughed at Homer Simpson when he asked Apu for an after dinner burrito, but now see it as inspiration. Highlights of my eating binge were two It’s It ice cream sandwiches after a burrito lunch, one pint of Haagen Dazs ice cream during Happy Hour, and the All-you-can-eat lunch buffet at Indian Clay Oven…for two!

Have you been to the Cheese Factory? It’s towards Petaluma, after Sir Francis Drake Road. For me, it’s at a nice break point for lunch during these hundred mile rides. They specialize in brie cheeses. My favorite is a jalapeño brie cheese, little pieces of peppers making it slightly zippy. They also have a yummy triple cheese brie, tomato and basil combo, and an herb flavor.
They also sell sandwiches, as well as deli meats and bread to make your own sandwiches. You can have your own picnic by the pond located to the side of the Cheese Factory’s main building.

A couple of ducks and geese hang out by the pond on occasion. Unfortunately, they have the knack for begging. On one encounter while I was just staring out into the pond, a goose was coming my way. He was eating whatever he could find on the grass before catching me in his sights. I moved out of the way, but he kept following me. After ten yards of this game of cat and mouse, I had to create a diversion and threw some bread from my sandwich one way, and moved the other way.

Once again, I am with a new head of hair. I figure with the upcoming seven days full of unrelenting sunlight, I should keep as cool as possible. To prevent my head from spontaneously combusting, I shaved all the hair off. I am blessed again with the five minute shower!

As a transition to this, I couldn’t resist making a mockery of myself. With such a quantity of long hair, I just had to get a mullet cut. Everyone knows what a mullet is, but probably by some other name: hockey hair, soccer rocker, heavy metal hair, and the shlong (short on top, long in the back). I always wondered what life would be like with a mullet; what kind of discrimination accompanies a mullet?

The laughter began even before getting the cut. I went into Supercuts (where else should one get a mullet?) and told the hair stylist (any who charges more than $10 is a stylist, not a barber) what I wanted: Spiked at the top, shaved sides, with the length in the back maintained. After showing her a picture of Billy Ray Cyrus, Jane’s eyes lit up and she said, "Oh, like Rod Stewart!"

Holding in my laughter while getting the cut was very difficult. Jane would make small talk, with the subject being the hairstyle. "It must be nice to work in a place that would allow such a cut." I assumed she meant that such a rock and roll hairstyle is inappropriate for the work environment. I replied that if the boss would give me any flack, I could put the hair in a tail and tuck it underneath my collar.

That night I visited my friend Debbie up in Berkeley to go to someone’s fundraising party. Meeting strangers with a mullet is not a good thing to do. People just would rather not approach a Mullet. The possibility of getting into an inane conversation about heavy metal guitar solos is not worth risking.
I started the next night with a trip to Japantown’s bowling alley. As one could guess, a Mullet fits in well at the alley. I needed to get some degradation elsewhere.

The hip club 111 Minna Street proved to be a good choice. Once again, many people were standoffish. After some friends were grabbing and mocking the Mullet, a passerby complimented it. I would like to think that he was hip to the Mullet, but not in awe of the Mullet. Actually, the bartender was serving up the drinks with a perceived swiftness, making me wonder if the world really does like a Mullet.

But my research came to an end. The Mullet got cut after the weekend. The dignity that would have been lost at the workplace could never be regained.

Next: The Ride